


This is Awkward

by 17495



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/F, thasmin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-30
Updated: 2020-05-30
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:41:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24459124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/17495/pseuds/17495
Summary: The Doctor is back. Thasmin in a general sense.  I couldn't write a novel so I wrote a page.  None of my friends even watch Doctor Who so the only feedback has been from my internal critic.  Constructive comments welcomed.  Standard disclaimers apply.
Relationships: Thirteenth Doctor/Yasmin Khan
Comments: 4
Kudos: 18





	This is Awkward

The Doctor leaned heavily over the console of the TARDIS, brow furrowed. Captain Jack Harkness leaned against a railing, legs crossed and arms folded. Graham and Ryan stood together, awkwardly looking around like they hadn’t just watched Yaz erupt into furious tears, so angry she couldn’t even speak, and storm out of the room. The Doctor had imagined seeing Yaz again more times than she could remember since she’d been spirited away to the Stormcage, but not one of them had gone like this.

“Well, Doctor, I just remembered someone- something- I have to be doing. It was great to see you, glad I could help with the jailbreak and all. Call me if you change your mind about...”

“Just don’t,” warned The Doctor. It was an old joke between them, but not particularly funny right this very second.

“Right,” said Jack. “Well, I’ll see you around. Just remember what I said, OK?” Jack walked to the door, gesturing for Ryan to follow.

“Yeah, um, I’ve got to step out for a bit, right? This time-travel has me needing a breath of air,” said Ryan, as he trailed Jack outside. Graham looked at The Doctor and took a deep breath, steeling himself for what he was reasonably sure was going to be a poorly-received overstepping of boundaries.

“Doc…” he began. The Doctor looked up at him from under her still-furrowed eyebrows.

“Are you angry too, Graham? Because I really don’t think I can handle it right now. If you could just give me a few minutes I’d really appreciate it.” The Doctor sounded, above all else, weary.

“I’m not angry, Doc. I’m glad you’re here. We all are.”

“Yaz is not happy. That was decidedly angry.”

“You have to understand,” Graham said gently. He walked around next to her and tried to figure out how he was going to say this next bit. “When you were missing, and we were on the Cybermen ship, she never wavered. She said we would find you and she just kept going like it was never in doubt. When we found out that you were through the Boundary, and nobody knew where it emptied, she didn’t hesitate. Not for one second. She walked right up and stepped through like there was nothing to it. Even though for all we knew she could have been stepping right out into space. You were on the other side and so that’s where she was going. But all these months, not knowing what happened to you? She’s been going crazy. Every day trying to figure out some way to find out what happened, and not getting anywhere. And then you show up, and it’s the middle of a huge battle, and she’s had no time to think or process anything. It’s just a lot, Doc.”

The Doctor sighed deeply. What could she say to that? It was a lot, in all fairness. And she hadn’t known about that whole Boundary business, Not that she was surprised. Yaz was always so brave. Reckless, on occasion. It made The Doctor worry about her more than once. Abruptly, she realized that Graham was still standing there and probably expected her to actually say something.

“You’re right, of course. I’ve been so busy being happy to see you lot that I haven’t thought about how you might feel. One does tend to get a little self-absorbed after a few hundred years. I just didn’t think Yaz would be quite so angry at me. I was trying to do the right thing.”

“That’s why she let you go, Doc, but come on. You saw her face. You know how hard it was for her. She’s mad at you for the same reason you would have been mad at her.”

“What are you on about, Graham? I’m not mad at her.”

“Doc. You know full well if Yaz had attempted some suicide mission you would be, well,” Graham took a deep breath “heartbroken.” The Doctor just looked at him, her face carefully neutral. Too carefully, in fact. Graham realized he was almost out of time. “Doc, I was there. I saw Yaz’ face, but I saw yours too. I think there are some things the two of you need to talk about. And maybe you need to think about what being alive means and why you surround yourself with people but keep yourself alone.” There, he’d said it. Graham waited for the telling-off he fully expected was coming next.

The Doctor, for her part, was completely at a loss for words. For a full 15 seconds, she simply stood, mouth agape, looking at Graham. Then she closed her mouth and stared for an additional 15 seconds, as the full import of Graham’s words sank in. They knew. It wasn’t just Jack, her friend of who even knows how many years, because time isn’t after all, linear, it’s more of a timey-wimey, wait, I’m getting distracted…they all knew. And apparently they’d known before she’d admitted it to herself, in that one last glance before she went to erase herself and all those CyberLords. Except she hadn’t erased them. She was here, now, breathing. And Graham was still looking at her. She did keep forgetting that other people were present. Damn that Stormcage.

“Graham, I have to go.” She turned on her heel and walked out of the room, trusting the TARDIS to take her where she needed to go. Graham watched her leave, and walked out of the TARDIS into the sun, a bemused look on his face.

The Doctor found Yaz in the library. She was curled in a chair, staring into the fire in a fireplace that The Doctor didn’t remember. At the sound of The Doctor’s footsteps, Yaz hurriedly dragged a sleeve across her eyes and sniffled. The Doctor’s hearts, now that she was being honest with herself, broke a little. She found herself standing in front of Yaz with not a clue what to say. This was really getting to be a bit much. Rule number one was keep talking. Rule number two was run. Right now she rather preferred rule number two. She stuffed her hands in her pockets. Yaz studiously avoided looking at her. The silence stretched on. It was unbearable. “Yaz…” It was barely a whisper. Yaz still refused to look at her, but tears welled up anew in her luminous brown eyes. The tip of her nose was turning red. It was more than The Doctor could bear. She crouched in front of the chair. “Yaz.”

“How could you, Doctor?” The anger mixed with something else now. Despair, perhaps? The Doctor knew anger and despair. Best to let those two tire themselves out before trying to get a word in. Tears streamed down Yaz’ face now, as months of sorrow and desperation finally vented themselves into the silence of the TARDIS. “How could you leave me like that? Do you know what it’s been like, not knowing what happened to you? Thinking you might be dead? Or worse? How could you not let me go with you? Just go off alone?” Yaz dropped her face into her hands and began openly sobbing. The Doctor rocked forward onto her knees and gathered Yaz in her arms. Yaz reached out and wrapped her arms around The Doctor’s slim back. Finally, Yaz’ sobs subsided into great, snuffly hiccups. Neither one of them moved. Yaz’ breathing became even. Her arms slid down from around The Doctor, but her head stayed buried in The Doctor’s shoulder. The Doctor smiled. Yaz was asleep.


End file.
